A Sweet Aroma

I had just walked out of the bathroom, in an attempt to escape the foul smell, where some hidden varmint had died. It was one of those smells that enters the nostrils and seems to go straight to the back of the throat to hit the invisible “gag reflex” button instead of proceeding to the olfactory “station” where normal tolerable smells go. As soon as I smelled it, I proceeded, with hand firmly over mouth, to peak into the water cistern that holds the water we need for everyday use. It was there that I was pretty certain I saw the dead  remains of a floating bit of unidentifiable gray fluff which seemed to be the culprit.  So straight out the door I went in a hurried attempt to breathe and sustain life.

 I made it to the kitchen.  I thrust through the last few strides of my sprint for the back door. There I hoped to drink deeply of fresh air.  It was not to be had.  The strong January winds in Kampot are one of the blessings of life here. Cool breezes try to convince you that living here really is something that physically can be done without year long torture from the ever looming “environment.”   But the breeze proved a curse upon my arriving at the door hoping for that needed breath.

 The stench of freshly stirred up pig dung and urine stung my nose as I sucked in with all the force of need that was screaming in my lungs. Having bent over to steady for the breath that I was focused on, I found myself bolting up and headed out of the kitchen as fast as I had entered. This time I ran to our half bath in search of toilet paper that I reasoned would serve me as I began to blow out the sickening odor that was stinging and burning. I quickly replaced the first bit of paper with a wad of a second portion which I hoped would serve, this time, to reduce what was coming in, instead of serving as catcher of, what I thought must be visible, green stench fumes steaming out.

 Strangely enough, in the midst of all the drama, a thought came to me. It was sobering. The thought was not, “Agh! Could I be any more grossed out and frustrated?”  It wasn’t, “Why Lord are the challenges of daily life here ever looming?”  It wasn’t even that I wish my neighbor would not always clean her pig sty and burn her trash every time the wind seems to be gusting in the general direction of my windows. But my thought went immediately to my life and the state of our lives as believers… huh.

 I should have listened to my husband who was constantly reminding me that when it comes to rats and other varmints that I have to wage war, break out the D-con, or whatever it takes to stay on top of the little problems that can become bigger. Sometimes I like to think that  I don’t want to be inhumane. But, the Lord wanted me to hear that; “taking care" of the "little foxes" must be done. Some things I can’t control, like the odor blowing over from the pigs next door. But my water, I need. It is life in my house and without it being clean, other diseases and problems will arise. Oh, that I would hear sound wisdom. That I would never be found trying to be “considerate” while a “little fox” is being used of the enemy to "spoil" the life that He has blessed me with, provided, and expects for me to share with others.

May we all be found being extremely conscientious about guarding those things that the Lord has entrusted to our care: our family, ministries, our “homes” from wrong attitudes, wrong perceptions, wrong actions, unchecked pride, selfishness… “little foxes”. We don’t want to find that the life giving streams of fresh water in our spiritual lives have been sabotaged; living waters meant to refresh and bless us and those to whom the Lord sends us. We must wage war on the "little foxes" never allowing things that seem insignificant, to spoil the sweet aroma of undefiled lives that are sparkling and transparent. We must be serious in taking opportunity to no longer deceive ourselves but choose to live humble, repentant, conscientious, transparent, faith filled lives meant to please our God through Jesus! So let’s not allow things to stay hidden till they are dead and stinky. Let us instead purify our “vessels” and homes that we may be considered a sweet smelling aroma to the Lord.

Finding My Voice

There is a group of women at a church that we hold dear to our hearts who daily share their stories through blogging. These Harvest church ladies write; and their stories intertwine…. They minister to each other and all who read their blogs through their stories. At our sending churches my dear friends Kathy Oakes and Shannon Jones share and have a gift to grab our hearts and take us along through all they are journeying through in the Lord through their writings. All who read their words are touched or changed. My mom and sister always had this gift. These ladies have found their colors, their threads, their tapestry, and they are weaving ornate designs that speak of their journeys.... I am, in this season, trying to find my colors.

So I deeply admire the beautiful writings of these precious sisters, because I find that sitting down to share my heart is something that is harder for me to do in these past years of my journey. I want to find my voice again, and the heart that once longed to be vulnerable and had the courage to share as they do.

I'm wanting to stir up wells inside, of faith in the Lord, that truly testify to the truth that “all my springs are in You, Lord.” That is what the singers and the players of instruments in Psalm 87 said, when they were moved or inspired to write or sing! They understood well that depth of life, joy and sorrow, times of deep perseverance and times blessed increase, were from the hand of the Lord. The psalmists cried in Psalm 90, “teach us to number our days that we might gain a heart of wisdom… and so the beauty of the Lord be upon us and establish the work of our hands for us; yes establish the work of our hands.”

Not only did the psalmists understand where the inspiration to journey on from here came from, they desired that all that they worked at from that place of inspiration, would be built or established by Him. Oh, how I desire to have all that is established in our lives be kissed by Him. I want to write stories and sing songs of His praise and all that He is establishing and bringing forth in our lives.

I want to share what my sisters share… their heart, their lives. I want to find the words of the testimony of His grace in peaceful places of confidence and trust. I want to learn, like the psalmists, how to communicate it, write it, speak it forth... So for now, I’ll be found waiting for Holy Spirit inspired springs to well up from secret places of His love. I’ll be here finding my voice. Thanks to all these sisters and so many more for the nudge.

Kristen's Thoughts - Mar. 2010

There has been so much the Lord has been encouraging me with and challenging me on since we have been back in Cambodia. The theme of the rebuilding of the temple in the days the Israelites began to return from their captivity in Babylon, hits me again and again as I have been reading the scriptures. I am challenged and encouraged so much through so many of the words of the prophets and leaders of that time period. The challenge is to daily take heed how we build. I know that Lewis and I have not laid our hands to one thing here that we dare call our own. God has truly been building a “house,” but we are stewards here in Cambodia, and we long to continue to see His kingdom coming and His will being done. We do not want to finish in the flesh what we feel strongly was birthed by His Spirit in our midst. We must consider, as did the Israelites, having been commended as “builders,” to submit all our expectations and all the work to Him. “For we are God’s fellow workers, and /Heritage House/ is God’s field. It is God’s ‘building’.” (1 Cor. 3:9).

Our “expectations” is something the Holy Spirit is highlighting as we seek Him on how to go on from here. Building has taken place here. What God started was good. There is a foundation laid. Endeavoring to keep the “workers” and the remnant that God has raised up and called to do the work focused and encouraged remains a daily endeavor.

In Chronicles, we see a huge spirit of expectation resident in the hearts of the Israelites as the first temple was being built. David’s vision was God given and under Solomon’s leadership a temple was constructed in which God could meet with His people. The scripture says the people gave of their talents, resources, and wealth willingly to see the temple of the Lord built, and it was glorious. There was a confidence and great expectation in the hearts of the people that God truly had inspired and directed David to see that the temple built and that He had God’s heart. They expected God to show up to bless “His building” and so, when the project was completed, the temple was filled with the Glory of God.
Later in history, the Israelites have strayed and been exiled. We see them coming back to Jerusalem and starting to rebuild the temple after their captivity. In the writings of Nehemiah, Ezra, Haggai, Zechariah and other prophets and leaders of the time, we see a Holy Spirit inspired mission to see the temple rebuilt, and the remnant of God’s people restored to worshipful right standing with God. God was expecting a righteous remnant to seek Him. The remnant had expectations as well. Many of these expectations, however, were now born out of disappointment, disillusionment, and human attempts to regain some kind of religious nostalgia based on the memories of yesteryear.

But, again, God was working. He still had expectations and vision for what He had always faithfully held out for; a place where He could be glorified and find His resting place on the earth. He longed for a remnant of people who would set their hearts diligently to obey and prepare such a place. Could they learn from the lessons of the past? Could they take what had begun years before with the vision and building of the first temple and expect to see God’s glory once again.
There are so many correlations to our work as believers in having expectations that God can and will see His kingdom built. God does glorious things in our lives and makes His dwelling place in our midst. As we respond through right expectations to the vision of what He is building us into, we so often see good fruit. We see progress. We see His Glory coming. He is after a remnant. Under the new covenant He is looking to build with those who will worship Him in Spirit and in Truth, who are built together not in a physical building, but into a body, His bride, in the earth. He is looking for ones from every tongue tribe and nation.
We know He is looking for a representation from Cambodia as part of that body. But as that body (or building) comes together, again as stewards of the “building” that is taking place, we must make sure that no other foundation is laid except that which is Christ Jesus. We cannot move away from the vision and be moved by discouragement in times of rebuilding. Because until God’s eternal plan unfolds completely, there will be seasons of the Glory of the Lord being revealed in what is being built, and there will be times of rebuilding. There will be times of the remnant that He is calling together, finding their way back to His plans and ways. In these times it is crucial that we stay founded in the Word of God, understanding His ways, and ever having our expectations and our vision grounded in what it is He is doing throughout history to call His people ever back toward His plan to have a “spiritual house” (1 Peter 2) built ultimately upon Jesus the foundation and cornerstone.

To keep my vision grounded in His word, and as I consider all this, the Lord faithfully continues to encourage me with even more examples of God’s building project historically. That encouragement has included the lives of the leaders highlighted in the writings I mentioned above. We see the exiled Jews making their way back to Jerusalem, under the leadership of those who encouraged them to, in essence, do it God’s way. In Ezra 7:9,10 scripture says, “ according to the good hand of the Lord upon him” Ezra arrived in Jerusalem from Babylon, and he “ had prepared his heart to seek the Law of the Lord and to do it, and to teach statutes and ordinances in Israel”. Then in Chapter 8, we see Ezra moving forward in the midst of this season of building with fasting and seeking the Lord with the other leaders of the remnant for “the right way for /us/ and our little ones.”

The entire book of Haggai, is a beautiful encouragement and challenge to the discouraged “builders” to “consider their ways” (1:7) and set themselves back to the task of seeing the temple built not allowing difficulties or self -centeredness to get in the way of their building. We have to make sure that we are diligent in working at His building and not anything of ourselves. Then, as He promised, we’ll see, as we did through the leadership of Zerubbabel, a true remnant, willing to obey and build. Our hope is that their remains a group of people in the earth, in Kampot, Cambodia, that choose to obey, that fear the presence of the Lord, and who are commended by the Lord to be strong for He is “with them”, and that are stirred up and ready to be gathered and “work” (Haggai 1:12-14) to see His temple, or body, being built. When we know and have understanding of the will of the Lord in stewarding through the building of God’s kingdom, as David and Zerubbabel did, we can go forth in confidence that His Spirit will “remain among” us. And that He will “shake the nations and they will come to the Desire of All Nations”(Haggai 2:5-6), who is ultimately the Christ the lineage of David and Zerubbabel. His body, that temple, will be “built”, we must just continue to consider our ways ( Haggai 1:7) as we present ourselves workers before Him and stewards in that building process.

And in expectation and consideration of the work that He has laid before all of us, I end with God’s beautiful encouragement through Zechariah…. Ultimately, if anything is built, “ its not by might nor power but by My Spirit says the Lord of hosts”… and he (Zerubbabel) shall bring forth the capstone with shouts of “Grace, Grace to it!... and his hands have laid the foundation of the temple and his hands shall also finish it… (Zechariah 4:6-9), again which we see through Jesus his offspring, thus the prophetic “his hands”…

So that is my encouragement, that through the God head, the Spirit of might and power is released toward what God is building through Jesus Christ. That shouts of “Grace, Grace to it”, are there because of His victorious reign! That in this hour of history in this city in Kampot, Cambodia, we can be expectant and trust that there truly is a remnant, at Heritage House Home for Children, at Hosanna Cambodia, at other small fellowships here, that are “being built together for a dwelling place of God in the Spirit” through Jesus Christ. I pray that He will continue to pour out His grace to see that “remnant” of believers here, coming forth as “heirs of the same body, and partakers of His promise in Christ through the gospel, of which we have become ministers/stewards according to the gift of the grace of God given to us by the effective working of His power” (Eph.3:7). We can only trust Him and His Grace to see it accomplished.

And so I am praying over us and His body, the remnant of Christ, here, as I pray for you who are also being built up together as a “spiritual house” there and for those in stewardship over you.

“ For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith…(through that expectant thing that stirs in you); that you ,being rooted an grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height - to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God ( His glory in His temple!). Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think (or expect), according to the power that works in us (not by might nor power but by His spirit praise God), to Him be glory in the church ( again, His Glory come to His temple… the church) by Christ Jesus to all generations (in every nation) forever and ever. Amen!” (Eph.3:14-21)

Our First Month Back in Cambodia

Well, here we are.

Once again, Cambodia has become our home and though the journey for us never veered off from here, taking up residence in the nation after a long furlough has proved to be challenging but peaceful. In our hearts we know that this continues to be the harvest field into which we have been sent to labor for "such a time as this".

And so it is here that we will labor. These last couple of weeks I have had the privilege of resuming a weekly prayer meeting I have always had with our female staff members. I awoke early the morning of the first meeting we were to have, and as I read and was praying, the Lord very graciously dropped something very powerful into my heart. I was reading the story in Judges of Deborah and the song that she sang to the Lord after a victory in which she had been involved in Israel defeating some Canaanite foes. Three things hit my spirit as I read. I knew that they were encouragement to me as I stepped back into this particular season of our work in Cambodia.

First, when starting her song to the Lord she immediately praises God for people who "offer themselves" and for leaders who "willingly lead" in Israel. As we step back into Cambodia, I have recognized throughout the process of transitioning that I needed to continue to stay in a position of "willingness". For any of us, willingness is everything in our walk with the Lord and accomplishing His bidding in our lives. I encouraged the ladies with this also in light of how they continue to offer themselves willingly, daily, to the needs of the kids at Heritage House. Praise God for all the willing vessels around us both on that side of the ocean and this that offer themselves to see His gospel established in the lives of these kids and in this nation.

Secondly, I was encouraged by verse 7. This is the verse that after God initially had my attention, hit me as though my heart had a bulls eye on it. It reads, "village life ceased, it ceased in Israel, until I, Deborah arose, arose a mother in Israel". After a season of rest, a season of contemplation, a season to take in while in the states, I knew as I stepped back into this nation I must decide a few things. The willingness issue I had settled, but when the Lord highlighted this verse something in me was shaken. I knew that I knew that I was being reminded of a calling that the Lord has made plain before me in being here. I have had friends confirm to me even before I left come here 8 years ago and through out the time since even up to a email I recieved this week concerning the Lord's call on my life here to a place of authority and mothering. I knew as I read those words that the dorm moms and I must arise to take our positions of authority in the spirit, once again, over these children. Have we been doing that in prayers and logistical matters and the like... yes, but something needed to be stirred again as we redefined our places and our callings in regards to the running of this house.... Naron and I all but wept as we prayed and allowed the Lord to plant this deeper in our hearts. One English term she knows, from some English I have passed on over the years, is "stand up"... She looked at me and said in Khmer and then in English... "Oh Mama, it is time, we must "stand up"! Yes, there is no doubt that there is no time for us as mothers to wait any longer, we must arise lest village Life begin to cease around us. We are gate keepers and when we arise and stand up willingly, we will see battles won.

Finally, verse 12 states "Awake, awake, Deborah! Awake, awake and sing your song!" This closed it out for me. Personally, whenever I feel the Lord move me deep in my spirit, whenever I feel moved by the Lord on a deep level, stirred, awakened.... I feel if I am moved to worship.... I feel confident to declare in authority what He is stirring over me, over my family, over Heritage House or any area I feel Him releasing within me an authority.... I feel confident to declare what I am sensing in song.

I know that this is a somewhat long update and there are so many things I could have shared on what daily life is looking like, but I wanted to share with you the goodness of the Lord in meeting me and moving me through His "living" word to me last week... I am willing and by His grace I pray that I am awaking to the song of the Lord as I arise where I am to mother and continue to lay my hands to that which he has graciously given me to do. I pray that you are all doing the same on your priceless journey He has you on. I know so many of you, and so many of you inspire me to keep on at the task ahead of me. Let us arise to the call... and see Him receive His reward and all the Glory as He accomplishes His will in the earth through us. I feel a song coming on!