"We heard gun shots and then all went still," he paused for a minute before continuing, "I knew it was my father." Krum begins his story of the night he lost his father and his life was forever altered. This story also belongs to Coy, Yaht, and Srey Ma, but on this rainy night, it is Krum’s story to tell our small cell group.
Krum had left his father’s side only a matter of hours before these events were seared into his soul. Krum is one of the few who tells of spending time with his father, the man who would take him along to work most days. It is a story that quickly shifts from a faint picture of a man that may have taken time to begin to father in the only way he knew, by equipping his son for survival, to a scene of a boy left with hardly a chance for that (survival).
After his father was murdered, Krum's mother immediately abandoned the children because of the hardships brought on by the tragedy. Yet now Krum must sit before us as he attempts but to scratch the surface of the depth of the story; his story, which is just one of the many stories of the children of Heritage House.
Yes, many may come from some of the same families, but as each tells his story, it is uniquely his own. Each in turn has told of distance, loss, lack, tragedy, offense, rejection, or disappointment. Yet swirling around through every remembrance, they wind their way back from their “beginnings” toward the grace that they have tasted and still daily seek. We hear voices still groping for that hope of His love that they so desperately want to trust in, to believe in.
We are four weeks into doing this study with the children on the "Father Heart of God". As we explore the true heart of Father, so faithful and just, kind and committed, respectable and humble, so real; Lewis and I are finding not only a sweet brokenness and new vulnerability begin to appear among the kids. We are humbled, in our own broken state, not only of any sorrows we may have known which He desires to heal, but humbled in places our own “fathering” or shepherding may need the gentle directive nudge of the Holy Spirit of Grace, to bring correction, refreshing, and restoration.
I am grateful that we are having the opportunity to go through this study with the older children from Heritage House. I know that the Holy Spirit is working in all of us as we seek to be vulnerable and to know the Father's heart. Thank you for praying with us as we journey through this study. The book is full of talk of our destinies in Him, under His loving care, but all of us, as the author points out, like David and Saul, will face disappointments in life where we fail and others fail us. As we ponder those times we need His help to journey on in from here. We must learn to cast off our self -perserving tendancies as David did, lest we seek to "save our lives", only to loose them. We must at that point remember that, " in returning and rest is our salvation and in quietness and trust (alone) is our strength" (Isaiah 30:15)
Therefore, still pressing on toward the goal of the upward calling in Christ, may we resolve to see Him glorified in our lives past, present and future. As hope dawns and He reveals Himself as the quiet waters that He longs to lead us by... to lead Krum by, may we ever be still and in that stillness, may we "hear" the sound of the still small voice beckoning us past death, upward and onward toward new.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Finding My Voice
There is a group of women at a church that we hold dear to our hearts who daily share their stories through blogging. These Harvest church ladies write; and their stories intertwine…. They minister to each other and all who read their blogs through their stories. At our sending churches my dear friends Kathy Oakes and Shannon Jones share and have a gift to grab our hearts and take us along through all they are journeying through in the Lord through their writings. All who read their words are touched or changed. My mom and sister always had this gift. These ladies have found their colors, their threads, their tapestry, and they are weaving ornate designs that speak of their journeys.... I am, in this season, trying to find my colors.
So I deeply admire the beautiful writings of these precious sisters, because I find that sitting down to share my heart is something that is harder for me to do in these past years of my journey. I want to find my voice again, and the heart that once longed to be vulnerable and had the courage to share as they do.
I'm wanting to stir up wells inside, of faith in the Lord, that truly testify to the truth that “all my springs are in You, Lord.” That is what the singers and the players of instruments in Psalm 87 said, when they were moved or inspired to write or sing! They understood well that depth of life, joy and sorrow, times of deep perseverance and times blessed increase, were from the hand of the Lord. The psalmists cried in Psalm 90, “teach us to number our days that we might gain a heart of wisdom… and so the beauty of the Lord be upon us and establish the work of our hands for us; yes establish the work of our hands.”
Not only did the psalmists understand where the inspiration to journey on from here came from, they desired that all that they worked at from that place of inspiration, would be built or established by Him. Oh, how I desire to have all that is established in our lives be kissed by Him. I want to write stories and sing songs of His praise and all that He is establishing and bringing forth in our lives.
I want to share what my sisters share… their heart, their lives. I want to find the words of the testimony of His grace in peaceful places of confidence and trust. I want to learn, like the psalmists, how to communicate it, write it, speak it forth... So for now, I’ll be found waiting for Holy Spirit inspired springs to well up from secret places of His love. I’ll be here finding my voice. Thanks to all these sisters and so many more for the nudge.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Kristen's Thoughts - Mar. 2010
There has been so much the Lord has been encouraging me with and challenging me on since we have been back in Cambodia. The theme of the rebuilding of the temple in the days the Israelites began to return from their captivity in Babylon, hits me again and again as I have been reading the scriptures. I am challenged and encouraged so much through so many of the words of the prophets and leaders of that time period. The challenge is to daily take heed how we build. I know that Lewis and I have not laid our hands to one thing here that we dare call our own. God has truly been building a “house,” but we are stewards here in Cambodia, and we long to continue to see His kingdom coming and His will being done. We do not want to finish in the flesh what we feel strongly was birthed by His Spirit in our midst. We must consider, as did the Israelites, having been commended as “builders,” to submit all our expectations and all the work to Him. “For we are God’s fellow workers, and /Heritage House/ is God’s field. It is God’s ‘building’.” (1 Cor. 3:9).
Our “expectations” is something the Holy Spirit is highlighting as we seek Him on how to go on from here. Building has taken place here. What God started was good. There is a foundation laid. Endeavoring to keep the “workers” and the remnant that God has raised up and called to do the work focused and encouraged remains a daily endeavor.
In Chronicles, we see a huge spirit of expectation resident in the hearts of the Israelites as the first temple was being built. David’s vision was God given and under Solomon’s leadership a temple was constructed in which God could meet with His people. The scripture says the people gave of their talents, resources, and wealth willingly to see the temple of the Lord built, and it was glorious. There was a confidence and great expectation in the hearts of the people that God truly had inspired and directed David to see that the temple built and that He had God’s heart. They expected God to show up to bless “His building” and so, when the project was completed, the temple was filled with the Glory of God.
Later in history, the Israelites have strayed and been exiled. We see them coming back to Jerusalem and starting to rebuild the temple after their captivity. In the writings of Nehemiah, Ezra, Haggai, Zechariah and other prophets and leaders of the time, we see a Holy Spirit inspired mission to see the temple rebuilt, and the remnant of God’s people restored to worshipful right standing with God. God was expecting a righteous remnant to seek Him. The remnant had expectations as well. Many of these expectations, however, were now born out of disappointment, disillusionment, and human attempts to regain some kind of religious nostalgia based on the memories of yesteryear.
But, again, God was working. He still had expectations and vision for what He had always faithfully held out for; a place where He could be glorified and find His resting place on the earth. He longed for a remnant of people who would set their hearts diligently to obey and prepare such a place. Could they learn from the lessons of the past? Could they take what had begun years before with the vision and building of the first temple and expect to see God’s glory once again.
There are so many correlations to our work as believers in having expectations that God can and will see His kingdom built. God does glorious things in our lives and makes His dwelling place in our midst. As we respond through right expectations to the vision of what He is building us into, we so often see good fruit. We see progress. We see His Glory coming. He is after a remnant. Under the new covenant He is looking to build with those who will worship Him in Spirit and in Truth, who are built together not in a physical building, but into a body, His bride, in the earth. He is looking for ones from every tongue tribe and nation.
We know He is looking for a representation from Cambodia as part of that body. But as that body (or building) comes together, again as stewards of the “building” that is taking place, we must make sure that no other foundation is laid except that which is Christ Jesus. We cannot move away from the vision and be moved by discouragement in times of rebuilding. Because until God’s eternal plan unfolds completely, there will be seasons of the Glory of the Lord being revealed in what is being built, and there will be times of rebuilding. There will be times of the remnant that He is calling together, finding their way back to His plans and ways. In these times it is crucial that we stay founded in the Word of God, understanding His ways, and ever having our expectations and our vision grounded in what it is He is doing throughout history to call His people ever back toward His plan to have a “spiritual house” (1 Peter 2) built ultimately upon Jesus the foundation and cornerstone.
To keep my vision grounded in His word, and as I consider all this, the Lord faithfully continues to encourage me with even more examples of God’s building project historically. That encouragement has included the lives of the leaders highlighted in the writings I mentioned above. We see the exiled Jews making their way back to Jerusalem, under the leadership of those who encouraged them to, in essence, do it God’s way. In Ezra 7:9,10 scripture says, “ according to the good hand of the Lord upon him” Ezra arrived in Jerusalem from Babylon, and he “ had prepared his heart to seek the Law of the Lord and to do it, and to teach statutes and ordinances in Israel”. Then in Chapter 8, we see Ezra moving forward in the midst of this season of building with fasting and seeking the Lord with the other leaders of the remnant for “the right way for /us/ and our little ones.”
The entire book of Haggai, is a beautiful encouragement and challenge to the discouraged “builders” to “consider their ways” (1:7) and set themselves back to the task of seeing the temple built not allowing difficulties or self -centeredness to get in the way of their building. We have to make sure that we are diligent in working at His building and not anything of ourselves. Then, as He promised, we’ll see, as we did through the leadership of Zerubbabel, a true remnant, willing to obey and build. Our hope is that their remains a group of people in the earth, in Kampot, Cambodia, that choose to obey, that fear the presence of the Lord, and who are commended by the Lord to be strong for He is “with them”, and that are stirred up and ready to be gathered and “work” (Haggai 1:12-14) to see His temple, or body, being built. When we know and have understanding of the will of the Lord in stewarding through the building of God’s kingdom, as David and Zerubbabel did, we can go forth in confidence that His Spirit will “remain among” us. And that He will “shake the nations and they will come to the Desire of All Nations”(Haggai 2:5-6), who is ultimately the Christ the lineage of David and Zerubbabel. His body, that temple, will be “built”, we must just continue to consider our ways ( Haggai 1:7) as we present ourselves workers before Him and stewards in that building process.
And in expectation and consideration of the work that He has laid before all of us, I end with God’s beautiful encouragement through Zechariah…. Ultimately, if anything is built, “ its not by might nor power but by My Spirit says the Lord of hosts”… and he (Zerubbabel) shall bring forth the capstone with shouts of “Grace, Grace to it!... and his hands have laid the foundation of the temple and his hands shall also finish it… (Zechariah 4:6-9), again which we see through Jesus his offspring, thus the prophetic “his hands”…
So that is my encouragement, that through the God head, the Spirit of might and power is released toward what God is building through Jesus Christ. That shouts of “Grace, Grace to it”, are there because of His victorious reign! That in this hour of history in this city in Kampot, Cambodia, we can be expectant and trust that there truly is a remnant, at Heritage House Home for Children, at Hosanna Cambodia, at other small fellowships here, that are “being built together for a dwelling place of God in the Spirit” through Jesus Christ. I pray that He will continue to pour out His grace to see that “remnant” of believers here, coming forth as “heirs of the same body, and partakers of His promise in Christ through the gospel, of which we have become ministers/stewards according to the gift of the grace of God given to us by the effective working of His power” (Eph.3:7). We can only trust Him and His Grace to see it accomplished.
And so I am praying over us and His body, the remnant of Christ, here, as I pray for you who are also being built up together as a “spiritual house” there and for those in stewardship over you.
“ For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith…(through that expectant thing that stirs in you); that you ,being rooted an grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height - to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God ( His glory in His temple!). Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think (or expect), according to the power that works in us (not by might nor power but by His spirit praise God), to Him be glory in the church ( again, His Glory come to His temple… the church) by Christ Jesus to all generations (in every nation) forever and ever. Amen!” (Eph.3:14-21)
Our “expectations” is something the Holy Spirit is highlighting as we seek Him on how to go on from here. Building has taken place here. What God started was good. There is a foundation laid. Endeavoring to keep the “workers” and the remnant that God has raised up and called to do the work focused and encouraged remains a daily endeavor.
In Chronicles, we see a huge spirit of expectation resident in the hearts of the Israelites as the first temple was being built. David’s vision was God given and under Solomon’s leadership a temple was constructed in which God could meet with His people. The scripture says the people gave of their talents, resources, and wealth willingly to see the temple of the Lord built, and it was glorious. There was a confidence and great expectation in the hearts of the people that God truly had inspired and directed David to see that the temple built and that He had God’s heart. They expected God to show up to bless “His building” and so, when the project was completed, the temple was filled with the Glory of God.
Later in history, the Israelites have strayed and been exiled. We see them coming back to Jerusalem and starting to rebuild the temple after their captivity. In the writings of Nehemiah, Ezra, Haggai, Zechariah and other prophets and leaders of the time, we see a Holy Spirit inspired mission to see the temple rebuilt, and the remnant of God’s people restored to worshipful right standing with God. God was expecting a righteous remnant to seek Him. The remnant had expectations as well. Many of these expectations, however, were now born out of disappointment, disillusionment, and human attempts to regain some kind of religious nostalgia based on the memories of yesteryear.
But, again, God was working. He still had expectations and vision for what He had always faithfully held out for; a place where He could be glorified and find His resting place on the earth. He longed for a remnant of people who would set their hearts diligently to obey and prepare such a place. Could they learn from the lessons of the past? Could they take what had begun years before with the vision and building of the first temple and expect to see God’s glory once again.
There are so many correlations to our work as believers in having expectations that God can and will see His kingdom built. God does glorious things in our lives and makes His dwelling place in our midst. As we respond through right expectations to the vision of what He is building us into, we so often see good fruit. We see progress. We see His Glory coming. He is after a remnant. Under the new covenant He is looking to build with those who will worship Him in Spirit and in Truth, who are built together not in a physical building, but into a body, His bride, in the earth. He is looking for ones from every tongue tribe and nation.
We know He is looking for a representation from Cambodia as part of that body. But as that body (or building) comes together, again as stewards of the “building” that is taking place, we must make sure that no other foundation is laid except that which is Christ Jesus. We cannot move away from the vision and be moved by discouragement in times of rebuilding. Because until God’s eternal plan unfolds completely, there will be seasons of the Glory of the Lord being revealed in what is being built, and there will be times of rebuilding. There will be times of the remnant that He is calling together, finding their way back to His plans and ways. In these times it is crucial that we stay founded in the Word of God, understanding His ways, and ever having our expectations and our vision grounded in what it is He is doing throughout history to call His people ever back toward His plan to have a “spiritual house” (1 Peter 2) built ultimately upon Jesus the foundation and cornerstone.
To keep my vision grounded in His word, and as I consider all this, the Lord faithfully continues to encourage me with even more examples of God’s building project historically. That encouragement has included the lives of the leaders highlighted in the writings I mentioned above. We see the exiled Jews making their way back to Jerusalem, under the leadership of those who encouraged them to, in essence, do it God’s way. In Ezra 7:9,10 scripture says, “ according to the good hand of the Lord upon him” Ezra arrived in Jerusalem from Babylon, and he “ had prepared his heart to seek the Law of the Lord and to do it, and to teach statutes and ordinances in Israel”. Then in Chapter 8, we see Ezra moving forward in the midst of this season of building with fasting and seeking the Lord with the other leaders of the remnant for “the right way for /us/ and our little ones.”
The entire book of Haggai, is a beautiful encouragement and challenge to the discouraged “builders” to “consider their ways” (1:7) and set themselves back to the task of seeing the temple built not allowing difficulties or self -centeredness to get in the way of their building. We have to make sure that we are diligent in working at His building and not anything of ourselves. Then, as He promised, we’ll see, as we did through the leadership of Zerubbabel, a true remnant, willing to obey and build. Our hope is that their remains a group of people in the earth, in Kampot, Cambodia, that choose to obey, that fear the presence of the Lord, and who are commended by the Lord to be strong for He is “with them”, and that are stirred up and ready to be gathered and “work” (Haggai 1:12-14) to see His temple, or body, being built. When we know and have understanding of the will of the Lord in stewarding through the building of God’s kingdom, as David and Zerubbabel did, we can go forth in confidence that His Spirit will “remain among” us. And that He will “shake the nations and they will come to the Desire of All Nations”(Haggai 2:5-6), who is ultimately the Christ the lineage of David and Zerubbabel. His body, that temple, will be “built”, we must just continue to consider our ways ( Haggai 1:7) as we present ourselves workers before Him and stewards in that building process.
And in expectation and consideration of the work that He has laid before all of us, I end with God’s beautiful encouragement through Zechariah…. Ultimately, if anything is built, “ its not by might nor power but by My Spirit says the Lord of hosts”… and he (Zerubbabel) shall bring forth the capstone with shouts of “Grace, Grace to it!... and his hands have laid the foundation of the temple and his hands shall also finish it… (Zechariah 4:6-9), again which we see through Jesus his offspring, thus the prophetic “his hands”…
So that is my encouragement, that through the God head, the Spirit of might and power is released toward what God is building through Jesus Christ. That shouts of “Grace, Grace to it”, are there because of His victorious reign! That in this hour of history in this city in Kampot, Cambodia, we can be expectant and trust that there truly is a remnant, at Heritage House Home for Children, at Hosanna Cambodia, at other small fellowships here, that are “being built together for a dwelling place of God in the Spirit” through Jesus Christ. I pray that He will continue to pour out His grace to see that “remnant” of believers here, coming forth as “heirs of the same body, and partakers of His promise in Christ through the gospel, of which we have become ministers/stewards according to the gift of the grace of God given to us by the effective working of His power” (Eph.3:7). We can only trust Him and His Grace to see it accomplished.
And so I am praying over us and His body, the remnant of Christ, here, as I pray for you who are also being built up together as a “spiritual house” there and for those in stewardship over you.
“ For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith…(through that expectant thing that stirs in you); that you ,being rooted an grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height - to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God ( His glory in His temple!). Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think (or expect), according to the power that works in us (not by might nor power but by His spirit praise God), to Him be glory in the church ( again, His Glory come to His temple… the church) by Christ Jesus to all generations (in every nation) forever and ever. Amen!” (Eph.3:14-21)
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